Sunday spam: “viable and vibrant”
Posted by adiamondinsunlight on April 5, 2009
Happy Sunday to all of you, from me and Mr. Fahad Fahad Al Ajmi, a happily corrupt executive at Kuwait National Petroleum Company:
Mr. Fahad Fahad Al-Ajmi,
Kuwait National Petroleum Company,
P.O. Box 70 Safat 13001 Safat – Kuwait.
Permission To Remit $14M Into Your Company or Private Account.
[No sense in beating around the bush, here: Fahadain gets to the point immediately.
I am a member of the Federal Government of Kuwait Contract Award and Monitoring committee in the Kuwait National Petroleum Company (KNPC). Some time ago, a contract was awarded to a foreign firm in KNPC by my committee. This contract was over-invoiced to the tune of US$14m (Fourteen million US dollars). This was done deliberately, the over invoicing was a deal by me to benefit from the project.
[Great – you sound like a wonderful custodian of your country’s resources, and a very trustworthy partner.]
I now desire to transfer this money which has already been moved out to a Security Company in United Kingdom, in any Overseas Account, which I expect you to provide to me.
[“… which I expect you to provide to me”: Ah, the khaleej sense of entitlement – how delightful.]
Meanwhile, this is the breakdown of the sharing modalities after it has been paid into an account you shall nominate for the purpose of this transfer deal: a) 25% of the money will go to you for acting as the beneficiary of the fund. b) 5% has been set aside as an abstract projection for reimbursement to both parties for incidental expenses that may be incurred in the course of the transaction. c) 70% to me the originator (which I wish to commence a viable and vibrant foreign investment scheme or project in conjunction with you) in your country.
[I’m loving the “incidental expenses” allocation, which seems to be a growing trend in financial scam spam emails. Does this make the deal sound more credible? And could there be a more painful phrase than “sharing modalities?”]
To effect this transfer, I therefore request the following: 1. Bankers Name and Address where the money would be transferred into. 2. Account Number 3. Your Private telephone and Fax Numbers for quick communication. The above information would be used to make formal applications as a matter of procedure for the release of the money in your name and onward transfer to your nominated account.
[I think he means “designated” account – “nominated” sounds like its up for an award. And what is this scam email obsession with fax numbers? I don’t know anyone who has a private fax number these days, aside from my parents – and they are definitely not interested in ill-gotten Kuwaiti gains.]
Although we have not met or entered into any kind of contract with you before as to know the extent of your honesty, but I personally want to believe that you are honest enough and would not sit on the money if it finally got into your account. Again, I consider you to be of average intelligence and potentially highly qualified to handle this transaction.
[I’m not sure that a man embezzling $14 million is the best judge of anyone else’s honesty, which makes me hope that his estimation of my intelligence is a little off as well.]
It does not matter whether or not you or your company does contract projects of this nature described here. The assumption is that your company won the major contract and subcontracted it out to other companies. More often than not, big trading companies or individuals of unrelated fields win major contracts and subcontracts to more specialized firms for execution of such contracts.
Please acknowledge the receipt of this letter if you are interested and send the required information mentioned through email. I wait in anticipation of your co-operation.
Mr. Fahad Fahad Al-Ajmi
[Below is my favorite part of the entire email: a personalized “Confidentiality” disclaimer.]
This email and attachment, if any, is intended only for the person to whom it is addressed. The contents may be privileged, confidential or otherwise protected from disclosure. If you are not the intended recipient, please notify me immediately and then delete this document. Do not disclose the contents of this document to any other person, nor take any copies.
Guess I’m violating the “Do not disclose …” instruction by posting Fahadain’s email. Oh well: if you’re in the market for an unethical $14 million, consider it a gift; if you aren’t, consider it some light weekend reading :).