A Diamond’s Eye View of the World

a multi-faceted look at the middle east, and the middle west

the evolution of scam: from Nigerian princes to US soldiers

Posted by adiamondinsunlight on March 27, 2009

Ho-hum. Another morning, another bout of gender-incorrect, Iraq-focused spam:

Dear Sir,

[Um, no. Guess again!]

Good day to you,

My name is Sgt. Josh Hubbell. I am an American soldier, I am serving in the military of the 1st Armored Division in Iraq, we have just been posted to leave Iraq and go back to Germany. I am now in Kuwait at the mean time. I and my superior moved funds belonging to Saddam Hussein, the total is $25,000,000.00 (Twenty Five million US dollars) this money is being kept safe in a security company. When I hear from you, I will give you a link to read about everything that took place here.

[Lovely. In one short, grammatically questionable paragraph, you have managed to impugn the honor of our enlisted soldiers, our officer class, and – less surprisingly! – our contractors.]

Basically since we are working for the government we cannot keep these funds, but we want to transfer and move the funds to you, so that you can keep it for us in your safe account or an offshore account.

[Let me rephrase. “Basically, since we are working for the U.S. government and this is Iraqi money that Saddam Hussein stole from the Iraqi people, keeping this money would be not only totally illegal but also wholly unethical. Naturally, we thought you might be interested in partnering with us.” Gee, thanks.]

We will divide the total funds in three ways, since we are 3 that is involved. This means that you will take 30%, I will take 30%, and my superior will take 30%. 10% will be kept aside for expenses. This business is confidential, and it should not be discussed with anyone.

[$2.5 million in “expenses”? Do you mean “bribes”?]

There is no risk involved whatsoever. If you are interested I will send you the full details, my job is to find a good partner that we can trust and that will assist us.

[I hate it when people use “that” instead of “who” when referring to human beings. For humans, the correct relative pronoun is “who”. Animals can go either way: you can choose to refer to your pet as a “who” and a snake as a “that”, but humans are always “who”.]

Can I trust you? When you receive this letter, kindly send me an e-mail signifying your interest including your most confidential telephone/fax numbers for quick communication also your contact details. This business is risk free.

[Given that you have cavalierly stolen a massive sum of money that rightly belongs to the people you are meant to be HELPING, I believe the more accurate question should be mine, and it should be: “Can I bring you to justice?”]

Please reply me via this email: sgt.joshhubbell@web2mail.com

Respectfully submitted

Sgt. Josh Hubbell.

Ugh.

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