A Diamond’s Eye View of the World

a multi-faceted look at the middle east, and the middle west

a new era in bread

Posted by adiamondinsunlight on June 16, 2008

Diamond, H said to me the other day, you have to see the bread my father brought.

I’m a big fan of bread, so it wasn’t quite as odd a statement as it might sound. But H wasn’t trying to get me to admire a particularly a la francaise baguette, or to crunchily admire a whole grain loaf.

He was simply trying not to laugh.

Can you imagine a loaf of bread being sold in the US with the tagline “helps constipation”? he asked me.

Um, no. Happily, I can’t. But according to the packaging, that’s just one of Sea Slim 2’s many magic properties. Here’s the bread in its package:

(And no, I have no idea what Sea Slim 1 might be. I can find all kinds of Sea Slim products on the Pate Boulanger website, but they are all labeled Sea Slim 2.)

(And be forewarned: the main http://www.pateboulanger.com site has a soundtrack: Wham!’s “Careless Whisper”. Just what you want to hear when buying French-style bread.)

The instructions/user information on the reverse are eye opening, to say the least. In addition to announcing “a new era in the field of bread”, the package proclaims that Sea Slim 2 markouk is “an almost complete meal”. Well, technically bread has been the proverbial staff of life for much of the world’s population – but its a bit low on fruits and vegetables. Not to mention protein.

Happy eating 🙂 !


3 Responses to “a new era in bread”

  1. WOW, so many advantages!
    I have pity for the owners of this business, they are heading toward bankruptcy, for sure!

  2. Tantalus said

    What on earth is:

    “harmful or damaging effect on public health”
    “specialized healthy department and laboratory analysis”
    “international scientific DORVAULT”
    “leading to the non, accumulation of fat”
    “diabetes and cholesterol diet, ect [sic]…”
    “are known hazardous to health”
    “preventive from modern current diseases”

    I wouldn’t eat something when I find a billion spelling mistakes in its labeling. Spelling mistakes cause cancer.

  3. moose said

    Here’s hoping the sea weeds in Sea-Slim are not from around here. But then, they cant be because it would have to be called Sea-Slime and they would not be able to guarantee “best fastest results”.

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