A Diamond’s Eye View of the World

a multi-faceted look at the middle east, and the middle west

something rotten in the state of Syria: food related conspiracy theories

Posted by adiamondinsunlight on February 12, 2007

A few weeks ago my friend Charles posted a fiercely funny (ri)post(e) regarding the terrible Lebanese journalistic coverage of the “poisonous balloon” issue.

(For those of you who somehow missed this story, a bunch of balloons intended as a PR promotion for Israeli newspaper H-Ir apolitically wafted across the border into southern Lebanon. Residents there reacted by 1) catching the balloons and inhaling the helium and/or 2) calling the ISF, the Internal Security Forces, to secure what they called dangerous Israeli weapons.)

Charles said:

The Lebanese media is claiming that Israeli warplanes dropped poisonous balloons on Lebanon.

That sounded absolutely ridiculous to me when I read the headline. Have you ever heard of something like this before? Only someone who believes that the evil Zionist will stop at nothing to harm Arabs would believe this. Poisonous balloons? And what were people doing inhaling them, anyway?

I searched UN sites and found nothing about the alleged incursion. Then, I found this in Haaretz. It seems much more plausible.

When rabid apes escape from the Beirut port and invade the downtown, I’ll make sure to say they came from a Zionist ship. Israel will stop at nothing – NOTHING! – to keep Arabs from living in peace. Their seductive balloons entice people to sip their poisonous gases. And did you hear, it was a Zionist medical facility in China that invented bird flu while they were trying to create a virus that will kill all Muslims?

Reading his tongue-in-cheek declamation that “Israel will stop at nothing …” still makes me giggle.

Whiffs (pun intended) of another conspiracy came from a late-breaking SANA news story published at 2 this afternoon:

Rotten meat is confiscated on Syrian-Lebanese borders

The security men existed on the Syrian-Lebanese borders on Monday confiscated three tons of rotten frozen meat on the archeological al-Qantara Bridge allocated on Al-Assi River (Orontes) when a group of smugglers were trying to enter it into Syria by a truck.

Veterinarian medical sources in al-Qaseer town in Homs governorate, central Syria, said that the data recorded on the meet are not correct, asserting that the analysis of the meet showed that it may be not a buffalo or veal meet.

Rotten non-buffalo non-veal meat smuggling sounds like a very niche market to me.

Still, what a refreshing change from all the weapons smuggling.


2 Responses to “something rotten in the state of Syria: food related conspiracy theories”

  1. Haha! I guess they were expecting the usual buffalo meat that is so often consumed in Lebanon and Syria.

    As a young child in Baalbak, I used to complain to my mother, “Awwwww, buffalo meat, AGAAAAAIN. Can’t we have beef or chicken or some other exotic meat sometimes? I’m tired of Buffalo Stroganoff, Buffalo Kiev, Buffalo a la King, fried buffalo, buffalo burgers, and even the massive buffalo leg we get when we go to fair. It’s too much, and it never rots like those other forms of meat.”

  2. hahahaha!

    I have a friend from Baalbek who tells me that the secret of Baalbekis’ long life (as well as their short tempers and passionate natures) lies in all the raw meat they eat.

    its really funny hearing about short tempers from someone who reminds you of melba toast, but this is what I’ve been told :-).

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