life as a Middle Eastern dictator

This morning I found during my breakfast-time Internet check that Qifa Nabki had taken a Facebook quiz called “Which Middle Eastern dictator are you?” I won’t spoil his fun by telling you what the result was, but I couldn’t wait to take the quiz for myself. After all, why spend my time online checking the day’s weather forecast when I could be doing something truly useful?

I should have known that I was getting into something serious when I read the quiz’s tag line:

Holding together a post-colonial society bound by artificial political boundaries is a difficult endeavor. How would you do it?

Um – not a quiz designed by just anyone, clearly. And the questions were stumpers. For example:

2. Of the following cars, which suits you best?

	The Peugot knock-off your countrymen built for you
	car? more like TANK!
	a 1980’s mercedes
	71′ VW van with huge moon roof

What happened to Option 5, the Ghost?

Or,

4.You have to spend $2,000 in one day, what do you buy?

	leather unitard
	a new AR-15 with sweet optics
	A functional, all purpose, tailored suit
	give half to my religious institution and buy a decent PA system

Isn’t Option “1″ a given, regardless of whether one chooses 1, 3, or 4?

And seriously, what was the purpose of Question 7, which asked for my game plan when attacked by zombies? Is this really a pressing issue for today’s dicator-class?

What I learned from this quiz is that I’m not a very good Middle Eastern dictator. But I’m hoping that a new quiz will come my way soon – one like “Which khaliji amir are you?” I’m going to stack my answers in favor of rich food, progressive schooling, and sword dances: I’d like to be the Emir of Qatar.